Waldorf Inspired Baby Doll


AmigurumiBB's Blog

After almost one moth of break from new posts, returning with, I hope, lovable gift to you all.

New crochet addition to all Waldorf admirers.

Waldorf Inspired Baby by AmigurumiBB

Simple testing the head for this pattern has taken our little Facebook group into wonderful doll making adventure. Many new ideas opened and new patterns were created. 25 wonderful and kind ladies have applied to test the pattern. Those that finished came up with the most adorable little princess dolls 🙂 Some we still wait to finish their projects. If ladies agree I will post their photos for all of you to see.

What I am specially satisfied that not matter which weight yarn or size hook was used, the pattern worked well for all.

For the first time we have tried joining limbs with cotter pins, and making joints with whatever we could find at home. Instead of original discs, washers and cotter pins, we mounted cotter…

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Brown Girls Do Self Care: Sherronda’s Movie List

Cause I need to watch these 💗

Live! Love! Laugh!

Author: Sherronda J. Brown

My lovely sisterfriends asked me to write about films that bring me comfort in one way or another. You will quickly learn from this list that I mostly find comfort in the bizarre and the ominous, rather than the warm and fuzzy. I am undoubtedly revealing a lot about my own existentialism and nihilism and general peculiarities with this list. I willingly admit that some of these films are weird, obscure, and unsettling, but I love them, unabashedly. Every time I watch them, I feel a sense of tranquility at their culmination. Maybe others will be able to find some comfort in them, too. Here are eight of the films that I like to watch when I need self-care, in no particular order.

*Minor spoilers ahead*

It’s Such A Beautiful Day (2012)

A poignant and dark little comedy about a neurodivergent stick figure.

Told in three…

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No white people are not ‘intersectional’ feminists

This is the thing.
Intersectional Feminism is a voice/definition for WOC/POC to explain overlapping or intersecting social identities and related systems of oppression, domination, or discrimination
Or how it’s harder to be oppressed or marginalized for something AND not be white.
WOC/POC have been saying this since Julia Ann Cooper and Ida B. Wells this concept wasn’t created by Kimberlé just the word.
Of course ‘intersectional’ applies to white people who are oppressed at intersections themselves. No ones denying that or the importance of that.
Here’s the thing though, white people and their concerns don’t get to be centered in the intersectional narrative.
90% of feminism is for and about white folks and the intersections they face. White people don’t need this definition because they aren’t being excluded from mainstream feminist definitions.
We ( non white folk) are, hence the need for Kimberlé Crenshaw to coin this.
If you take it over with the ‘nuance’ of your needs; (Which seems to be more about lessening white responsibility for racism than it is about the ways in which oppression interacts/intersects.) You again silence WOC/POC in the need to center yourself in a narrative designed to address the over looked needs of WOC/POC.
Example: Feminism includes men’s rights. Yet we don’t make men’s ‘nuance’ the focus of feminism. If we did, men would center themselves and it would make moot the whole point. If men were capable of not centering themselves feminism wouldn’t exist, it wouldn’t need to.
Same principal applies to ‘intersectional’

First, you don’t need this, feminism already gives white folks a voice.
Second white people ruin things by centering themselves.
Which is again, why shit created for POC to express themselves doesn’t need white nuance anymore than feminism needs men’s nuance.
On the contrary what needs nuance is mainstream feminism.
So hands the fuck off white folks.
You are NOT intersectional
If you want to add nuance, expand your definitions to include us and our needs.

White Liberals and their love of Bernie Sanders

Please stop acting like Bernie Sanders is the answer the country needs right now. Especially white people. Or that he should run in 2020.
Before I explain further let me start by saying my vote for Bernie Sanders during the primaries was probably the last time in my life I vote Democrat. Going forward *if* I vote it will likely be Independent.
I also voted for Obama both terms, he is a war monger and didn’t do shit for black folks but he remains my favorite of our historically 100% shitty ass selfish presidents. Mostly because he’s black and it meant more than white people are capable of understanding for him to be elected. Actually I think whites are aware how important he was to us and that’s included in the racist backlash that is Trump. As much as I love Obama, I can acknowledge he didn’t do anything to curb racism and pandered to whites. No I wouldn’t vote for a third term for him but I’ll also never regret voting for him for his 2 terms, even as my politics shift.
Now to Bernie Sanders. I supported him heavily during the primaries AND after. I’m disgusted with how the DNC treated him. Yet I was never satisfied when he interacted with #BlackLivesMatter protesters. He tried but he, like many white liberals, seem to not understand economic changes don’t help black people/non-whites proportionally because racism is both systemic and institutional. That’s why Affirmative Action helped white women more than it did black men or women. Racism combined with a poor understanding of institutional and systemic racism is what led to white women challenging Affirmative Action, a system that was helping them succeed. Look at college/university scholarships, the stereotype is non-whites, especially blacks and Native Americans/First Nations get the most scholarships and don’t pay out of pocket tuition. The reality is white people get way more financial aide than non-whites, even though they need it less. So Bernie’s economic reforms are not going to help blacks and non-whites equitably until racism is dealt with. Certainly he’s preferable to The Deranged Cheeto or Hillary but so is my 18 month old granddaughter. Preferable isn’t the issue, competency is.
Post The Deranged Cheeto’s win Bernie supported white Trump voters denying that their vote for an openly racist candidate was about racism. He spoke right over blacks saying this was about racism, as well as common fucking sense (if you vote for a racist candidate you are in fact racist) and eventually even studies confirmed white people voted for racist reasons.
The racial divide in voting was stark. That can not be ignored or downplayed. That Bernie refuses to address this troubling fact, given the openly racist climate post election, is a support of White Supremacy. No way around that. Everytime racism is ignored or downplayed White Supremacy is strengthened.
Racism and White Supremacy have been greatly strengthened in this election. Racism is being normalized openly in a way we haven’t seen since the Civil Rights Movement 50 years ago. It is critical and crucial that the next president address racism both institutionally and systemically. Which means the ability to acknowledge that Trump voters are bigots. We can’t advance as a country without acknowledging that narrative.
Right now black women in the US are 4 times as likely to die during childbirth as white women. Our children are being groomed from preschool for the school to prison pipeline. I won’t get into the policies Trump is now putting into effect that will further target blacks. Economic changes can’t fix that.
Also the extreme irony that white pain is being centered in a narrative for a disaster their fucking racism caused. Only in Amerikkka.
White people are going to have to find a way to get through to racist whites, be they family, neighbors, friends, coworkers, girl/cub scout leaders, choir director, whomever.
Stop centering white fucking pain and woes when white americans are going to be better than non-white americans no matter who is president. Take responsibility for the fact that white people and their racism, are responsible for Trump being president.
Suck it the fuck up buttercup.
Y’all can’t be free until we *all* are free.
Sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, poverty, *all forms of oppression* are tied to racism.
Hasn’t the history of the feminist movement taught you that social movements that don’t include *all* forms of oppression are doomed to fail?
Poor, transgender, homosexual, disabled, impacted by sexism, or whatever flavor oppressed white people will never get rid of their oppression until they get rid of their racism. It’s the lynch pin to the White Supremacy/patriarchy destroying our nation.
White Supremacy supports white people being oppressed by poverty, transphobia, homphobia, sexism, ableism, other forms of oppression. It’s not just about hating non-whites, it’s also about oppressing undesirable whites. Systems of oppression are tied together. There’s no equity possible for whites that aren’t straight, cis, able bodied, Christian and wealthy without destroying racism and white supremacy. Just like sexism harms and holds back men, racism harms and holds back whites. Your racism supports the very system keeping your white ass oppressed.
Poor whites must open their eyes to how racism is destroying this country and contributing to their own oppression. Since whites seem to be incapable of truly comprehending or feeling compassion for non-white pain, start with how white racism reinforces white people being oppressed until maturity allows acknowledgement of personal racism after which the ability to see and feel compassion for non-white pain should be possible. Look beyond yourselves please, your selfishness and self centeredness is destroying our nation and it’s supposed ‘freedoms’ not to mention the planet with The Cheeto removing environmental protections.
A Concerned Black Feminist Anarchist

Happy 42nd Birthday to me

#HappyBirthday to me

This photo was taken 2 years ago on my 40th birthday. Matt and I were in #kailua #hawaii #thebigisland #kailuabeach #kailuakona 

I had a painful abdominal hernia and was scheduled for surgery Jan 2nd, 2015. I was in serious pain and on prescribed heavy duty pain and anti nausea meds.

My health was poor and I vacillated about taking such a major trip before my surgery.  Ultimately I decided to go through with it for 2 reasons: I had the money and I had been wanting to do a 40th birthday trip since my 21st birthday. Originally by my 40th birthday Ameena was supposed to have 5 years of a bachelor’s under her belt. My feeling was if she hadn’t graduated by that time, I was done helping so I was spending that money on myself for a nice 40th birthday trip. 

Before my illness became incapacitating 40 meant a planned return to formal education, completion of my bachelor’s  and start my masters. I want to eventually get my Ph.D. As usual, life had other plans.

I digress which I’m prone to do and allowed to do on today of all days! Anyway, back to my 40th birthday, I didn’t know so much during this trip about what was going on with my health. 
For instance: I didn’t know I was allergic to my pain meds or that I was allergic to the sun. I had never even heard of #dysautonomia much less understand how critical it was for me to stay hydrated and have enough salt. Not to mention the other positive diagnoses and suspected diagnoses since the #dysautonomia diagnosis. I know so much more about what is going on with my health and as a result I can manage fun activities, like this birthday trip with less effort and more fun.

Unfortunately that couldn’t help then since I didn’t yet have diagnoses. Instead, I ended up in the ER our first full day in Hawaii. It felt dramatic I had an episode in the shower and felt traumatized by the fuss of the ER staff. The ER nurse kept trying to get me to name alchol I hadn’t been feeling wwll enough to even sip. Their msi5n concern was prescription pain medicine and was I concerned about addiction.  Not x-ray for the knee I landed on and woke twisted under me. I had to rotate my knee back in place. Which the doctor said wasn’t possible but I now understand to be a part of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome III hypetmobility.

Instead the ER kept treating me for alcohol poisoning which I guess is IV fluids. Matt was frustrated because if I’d been drinking they’d have smelled the alcohol in the vomit I had to save for the staff to look at. Totally disgusting and gross policy though I do understand the policy behind it. Either way the fluids and migraine meds were a miracle. I went home, slept well and woke up on my 40th birthday feeling like new money, crisp, clean, desirable and ready for circulation. 
Matt had already been out and picked out a nice meditation spot on the cliffs. The Big Island is different than other more popular tourist destinations I guess. The access to prime beaches is more limited. Much of the area by our resort was gorgeous black lava cliffs. December is when the area gets large waves and at different points during our stay the cliffs would be closed due to unsafe waves.

The morning of my birthday Matt showed me the path from the resort, which was huge and confusing those first few days, past the pool to the lava cliffs. They were such that you could climb or walk out and sit on the edge. The waves would crash into the caves beneath the ledge I was sitting on. It was beautiful to look at and the sound of the water was so relaxing. We meditated, talked and made plans for the next 10 days, took pics and video.

Then I was strangely struck by the desire to climb out on the lava cliffs. I ended up climbing out on the rock shelf that I used as my meditation focal point. It was a bit of a hike and in hindsight I’m impressed at my stamina and recovery. My legs got all bruised but it was exhilarating. The final rock I’m standing on for the picture hurt my feet. During the guiding tour later that week I would discover those rocks are called ‘aha’ rocks. Coincidence? I think not.

I promised myself that morning on that uncharacteristic climb on those lava rocks that  40 meant my life was finally and at long last about me. From that day forward i vowed to allow *myself* space before everyone else. 

This thought frightened me. I had never as an adult made the bulk of my serious choices with my happiness as the primary goal. Even in college I picked a major that wouldn’t require too much outside of class, like internships, because my hands were quote busy with being a full time single parent and college student. I needed to work as much as little as possible for as much as possible-which pretty much meant part time. My daughter’s father has always been in a non factor in her care, as far as financially, emotionally or even to be counted on to keep her so I could work/ go to school/ better both of our lives.  This impacted every aspect of my life, even where obvious overlap doesnt exist. When it came to choosing a major I didn’t have the luxury of perusing my interests, editing/ fiction writing. I had to take classes that weren’t too demanding so I could spread myself as thin as I needed to in order to get by. I wasn’t even trying to flourish at that point. Just exist and raise my daughter was enough for me.

Since I had a baby at 18 and was a single mom, this was literally the first time in my adult life I could put myself first. It’s felt like a long time coming.

I wasn’t sure I could do it. People pleasing is a hard habit to break I was raised with the belief that ‘people pleasing’ is polite. Giving a voice to your honest  emotions, feelings and experiences is not.

It’s been harder than I thought but oh so worth it. 

It’s also been messier than thought but that’s OK too.

I’m abandoning the idea that I have to do or say the ‘right/correct’ thing.

Now I try to be authentic and answer from my gut and heart. It’s been a struggle at times to even figure out what my ‘authentic’ gut and heart reaction were.  Yet that too has gotten better with practice and time. 

I’m proud to say that though I haven’t 100% kept that vow, I have kept it 100% when it mattered. 

I have become adept at protecting my ‘space’, literally and figuratively.

As a result my soul has nurtured and grown. I found the *self* I lost all those years ago. Buried in a never ending life of work, motherhood, career and family/community expectations. 

For the first time in my life I feel free.

I thought it would narrow my life to focus on myself. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I’m discovering or rediscovering so much about who I am how I think. My political views and ‘religious’ have changed drastically and dramatically.

Everyday I’m getting closer to speaking my truth in the moment, no matter the circumstances and consequences. 

It’s so empowering.

So far my early 40’s authentic really years of intense self exploration, evaluation and altering of definitions that impact how I navigate life. 

I’m also able to identify and own more of my mistakes without threatened, self conscious or belittled.

At long last I care less and often not at all what others think of me. Even loved ones.

My life has expanded to such a place I’m not sure where I’ll end up but I’m excited to get there and enjoying the journey.

Love Deez Nutz, or Why Van Jones Is Wrong and Maybe Even a Bit of a Bullshitting Magical Negro, or Happy Friday from My Corner of Trump’s America–Whatever You Like–I’m Tired

Every fucking word of this.

The Bluest i

One of the reasons that I dislike the way that black people deify Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is that it makes a lot of us adopt a passive way of dealing with racism and racist white people that is really fucking unproductive.

MLK was a Christian minister. He advocated for nonviolent protest and civil disobedience because these principles aligned with Biblical doctrine. He combined a political message and mission with ministry. But this isn’t a mandate. This is not the only or the “right” or at this point a proven way to effect change around issues of race in our society

As courageous, wise, and principled as MLK was, we can look at the racial climate in this country today and say–in all fairness–he might not have been as effective as we needed him to be.

Because he sought to change people’s minds. He sought to make the Masters…

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